devil’s night out

March 6, 2006

It's a good thing Friday's power failure prevented me from posting about the other two gigs I was going to grace with my presence this weekend, because, aside from the Mercury gig, we all know that I actually spent the remainder of the weekend on my couch, alternately crying and punching my fist into the wall. As I do.

I arrived too late to see Mind Assault on Friday night, except for their final number, a track called "Hoekom is die wereld so sleg?" If you'd like to recreate the moment at home, grab a hairbrush, bend over, and repeat the line a few times like Vin Diesel auditioning for a role as a crack-whore to a bunch of tone-deaf midgets. Catchy, huh?

Nobody told Sacrifist that they weren't playing Donnington, but to a bunch of slutty goth girls with waist-length hair, and a bunch of metal boys with waist-length hair who couldn't get laid if they were linoleum salesmen in a brothel. Which is a shame, really. It's been a good decade since I first ventured wide-eyed and inappropriately dressed to my first metal gig, and I can safely say that not much has changed over the years, except that the girls are a little fatter and everyone looks vaguely like they might have been in a band that I might have seen, once. Oh yes, Sacrifist. The lead guitarists had matching red Warlocks, so please, draw your own conclusions.

Revellus sounded a little like an arthritic tractor chugging through the Paarl tunnel for the first two tracks, but to be fair, I'm pretty sure the house engineer's markers had long since smudged from the mixing desk by the time they finally entered stage left. Judging by the earnest shapes and syncopated moves by the third, they were actually as tight as fuck.

Anyway, I was quickly past caring they sounded like. I'm easily swayed by a shiny and attractive exterior and, in spite of some stiff competition from the Sacrifist crew*, they looked fantastic up there. It's easy to see why the vocalists get all the attention – Stuart is all emaciated sleaze and runny eyeliner, and Imogen has her Hypnotic Midriff, but it would be lazy to dismiss the rest of the band as mere, albeit extremely capable, sonic support. Coming on like a demonic Village People, Revellus offers up 7 equally strong and agreeably distinctive personalities – unlike the Village People, they're actually really good at what they do. And not gay, either – although Adam's trousers do give one pause.

They give a good show. I wasn't bored once throughout their set. Imagine how much I might enjoy myself if I can actually hear what they're playing.

*I'm joking. No, I am.

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