cradles of filth

April 23, 2006

Like W.C. Fields, I prefer my children fried. And, in spite of me banging on about selective breeding, or better still – mandatory sterilisation – for the last few years, it appears that the rest of the world is quite content to keep spraying out babies like peanuts from a fully-automatic popgun. In fact, at least 3 people I admire and respect greatly became fathers in the last week or so, but I'm trying not to hold it against them.

Dave Grohl and Jordyn Blum's sprog-rocker made her debut appearance last Saturday, according to a notice on the Foo frontman's website. I can say with some authority that a drum kit is not a good present for anyone under the age of 27, but I think we should all club together and buy one for little Violet Maye anyway. I've been wanting to do that ever since a relative bought my brother a plastic lawnmower ("with realistic sounds!") when he was three.

After a long and difficult labour, Frank Black finally squeezed out a Hum-Vee named Lucy on Thursday morning. At least, that's what I think he's been carrying around his middle for the last couple of years. For god's sake, Charles – people are starving to death in Africa! And please, stop releasing live DVDs!

Finally, François Naudé, a man with no connection to the music industry save a shock of Bolan-esque hair, and who deserves a round of applause for snagging a beautiful wife anyway, welcomed Zoë Olivia to the household on Friday afternoon. I'm uncharacteristically pleased for Fran and Carmel – two of the nicest and most talented people I know. Heck, I'm even a little excited. I'm sure it will pass.


6 Responses to “cradles of filth”

  1. You mean all this time you had a blog and you didn’t…..
    I don’t know who too be more pissed at YOU or Ash.

  2. barbedwire said

    Yeah, but I figured Ash's (former) crowd is way too sophisticated and erm… erudite to be concerned with a website devoted mostly to bands and people they've never heard of.

    I am glad you stopped by, though.

  3. Erudite?!?
    I’m so UN-erudite that I don’t even know what erudite means.
    I aint been learn-ed enough.

    Do I still call you Zilla?

  4. barbedwire said

    That's ok, Jerk. I'll type slowly and use the small words.

    Barb, Zilla… Barbzilla. Call me whatever you like. Honestly – provided you preface everything with 'your highness', I don't really mind.

  5. Yes your Highness.
    Since Ash is gone I need something to entertain me, so I’m going to stalk you.
    Well, stalk you as much as I can with you living about as far away as humanly possible without joining NASA.

  6. barbedwire said

    You know, I was afraid you might – hence my low, low profile. That, and the fact that I can’t imagine why anyone would want to visit my site in the first place. Still, people hardier and more persistent than you have tried stalking me in the past – and where are they now? Trust me, that question has been plaguing the authorities for years.

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