me ears are alight

May 26, 2006

If I spent more time on the Internet and less time on frivolous distractions like ‘work’ and ‘deadlines’, I wouldn’t be the last person in town to discover that the ‘King of Ska’, Desmond Dekker, popped his clogs yesterday at the youthful age of 64.

Dekker – who, sadly, is probably best known around my parts as the guy everyone thinks is Horace Andy or a barber – rocksteadied Jamaica to the top of the international charts with Israelites, and 007 (Shanty Town), paving the way for a succession of island superstars like Bob Marley, Jimmy Cliff and … uh, Shaggy.

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work for idle hands

May 26, 2006

hell-o, operator

May 23, 2006

Those devilish call-centre employees, The Hellphones, want you to dial 'O' for "oh no!"…

Ladies and Gentlemen, give up your first-born…

Actually, I can't sustain this – The Hellphones want you to come and see them play The 88 Club in Norwood tomorrow night at around 8 pm.

Tell them Samael sent you.

Prince has been voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll, the animal rights group announced Monday.

Not that I care or anything – I just wanted to use that headline.

I really shouldn’t keep picking on the God Squad – it requires so little mental effort and incredibly, not even I can justify being that lazy. On the other hand, a little unintentional comedy does go a long way, and this inspired exposé of Satan’s Music dutifully trots out enough one-liners to kick-start a college t-shirt empire.

And it’s not just the usual suspects (metal, homosexuals) that face the flaming rod of righteousness, either. The people who brought you the fantastically monikered Antichrist Slideshow starring: The Popes of Rome spare no one: The Beach Boys, Bon Jovi, Christian Rockers, Country Music and, not surprisingly, Vangelis – are all beaten with their own lyric sheets before being drop-kicked to the Great Braai Down Below.

Stan help us all.

~*~

Hellarious, Metafilter.

tune in, freak out

May 16, 2006

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you should consider therapy?

Metafilter reminds us that it's never too late to have a happy childhood with this stirring collection of TV theme tunes from classics like Knightrider, the A-Team and Airwolf. Hey, Airwolf! Didn't Jan-Michael Vincent come over here and disgrace himself with a cocktail waitress / cheap hooker once? Twice?

OK already

May 16, 2006

Radiohead's Thom Yorke releases a solo album and the internet goes apeshit. Only it's not really a solo album, apparently, and doesn't necessarily signal a rift amongst the Flaky Five, and this blog still can't bring itself to care.

"One of the most rewarding things happened at one of our screenings when a kid stood up and said, 'Thank you for making a film that, for once, doesn't make us look like idiots,' " Dunn said.

MTV offers exclusive clips from soon-to-be-released doccie Metal: A Headbanger's Journey. And Prozac and a hoodie for anyone looking forward to Bastards of Young, a double-disc release chronicling the rise of emo. Well, not really. But they should.

raining blood

May 15, 2006

LiveDaily reports that Slayer have delayed the start of their "unholy Alliance" tour due to Tom Araya's gallbladder surgery.

It still isn't clear whether Tom is the one undergoing surgery, or if he's just preparing to rip the organ from a volunteer as a pre-tour sacrifice to ensure good ticket sales. This is Slayer we're talking about – it could so go either way.

grow a spine

May 15, 2006

I used to date an indie rock nazi who made me feel sort of stupid for not knowing everything about rock, post rock, punk etc. It's been several years and my broken heart is way over it, but now I want to know it all for myself. Are there a few titles you could recommend to me about music history?

Stereogum readers make like Oprah and help the lady out with a surprisingly good selection of music primers: Rip It Up and Start Again; Please Kill Me; Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of the 20th Century; The Dark Stuff; England's Dreaming and everyone's secret favourite: Hammer of the gods. Hammer of the gods!

Inexplicably, neither of these got a mention.

Al Kratina hates music. And people.

for a good time…

May 13, 2006

Cassette, the Jo'burg band I’d never heard of until they signed to Sony-BMG recently, will be going tape to toe with The Dirty Skirts, the band that mysteriously acquired my mobile number and spams me on a regular basis – tonight at the Armchair Theatre in Observatory. R30 gets you in, another 10 gets you ‘special attention’ out back from the barman who looks like an Arcade Fire fan. Or so I might have heard.

I’ve been criticised a little for assuming, erroneously, that all 3 of my readers know what the local bands I mention sound like. It's not that – I'm just really lazy. Anyway, I'll see what I can do: The Skirts* are a lot like that other band with a great name that also failed to sound anything like I thought they should – The Killers. Cassette… well, I'd love to give you the skinny, but the download section on their website only houses a couple of 'test vids' and a 'temp' file at this point, so I can't. Unless those are the tracks, in which case they're crap.

There, did that help at all?

And Dirty Skirts: as soon as I find out who wrote my number on the bathroom wall at Roxy’s, there’ll be hell to pay.

~*~

* Synth-rock.

currying favour

May 12, 2006

The Hellphones are hard at work in the SABC studios, piecing together their debut album with renowned Squeal frontman and producer, Dave Birch. Hellphone Fredriguez is documenting the wild and emotional ride – which, at this early stage, seems to consist largely of sneaking off to the "smoking room" (why is it smoking?) and a review of the curry from the staff canteen. Which is all quite endearing until they mention firing up some incense to get them in the mood. I hope it was the Sulphuric Vapours of Hades variety, or I'm going to have to stop mentioning them in my posts.

Still, people seem to like this fly-on-the-wall sort of thing, so in an effort to increase my readership without having to disable my spell-checker, I think I'll install a webcam at my desk so you can watch me practise my ninja moves and staple people's fingers to the ceiling. Or whatever the hell it is I actually do around here.

So, what happens when one of my favourite online reads calls attention to an interview with the author (who also edits a magazine I know I should like but secretly find tedious) of a book I recently really enjoyed, published by a company I've really come to admire and respect – possibly, ok mostly, because it's headed up by a guy I once lusted after without knowing what he looked like simply because he played bass in a post-hardcore band that seduced and amused me all through the 90s, but also because the people he works with are not only seriously awesome, but infinitely patient, even when I fuck-up my online purchase and they have to give me a refund?

You read this interview, that's what.

speak and pestroy

May 11, 2006

If you live in the Jozie area, tune into UJFM 95.4 FM – "Jo'burg's newest youth community radio station" tomorrow and catch rap-metal machines Pestroy, live, if not fully functional, on the Morning Glory show at around 11 am. If that doesn't perk you up and get you ready to face the day, you must be deaf. Or me. Ten rond says the first question put to them is "why can't you spell?"

If you're one of those annoying people who plans in advance / has actually figured out a use for Google Calendar, then make a note to catch Pestroy again at Carfax, Newtown on Saturday 27 May. Our philanthropically-inclined band will be taking the rap at the Head Rush Charity Show, alongside Cassette, Wickhead, 16 Stitch, Wanton and gnarled veterans of the pop-rock circuit, Sugardrive.