australia. need I say more?

June 7, 2006

For shame. It's not enough that Barry Manilow has a face that resembles Sid the Ice-Age sloth sculpted in marshmallow – now the bawdy sheep-fanciers next door are using his music to drive hooligans from the suburbs:

For the next six months the ears of the youth of Rockdale, a suburb south of Sydney, will be subjected to the sounds of the singer's back catalogue after the local council resolved to get tough on antisocial behaviour. Councillors hope piping Manilow hits such as Mandy and Copacabana through a loudspeaker into a car park troublespot will kill the atmosphere and force the youths to move on.

Poor guy. At least he's rich.


Thangyew, Whitney.


21 Responses to “australia. need I say more?”

  1. It’s winter down there right?
    Mmmmm, let’s stay home a cuddle.
    We could throw on some mood music like Motorhead and make sweet luv.

  2. barbedwire said

    Please. This is Africa. Our winter is your… lunch hour sunbed session.

    Why don’t you run back into the kitchen and iron something for me instead?

  3. You guys iron in your kitchen down there, or do you just have a small apartment?

  4. barbedwire said

    I don't iron, but I'm guessing you'd heat the paddle-thingy over the cooking fire, which is located in the kitchen corner of my mud hut. Or you could make me cupcakes. Your choice.

  5. Mudhut?!?
    What friggin part of Africa do you live in, the Belgian Congo circa 1926?!

    Is that why you won’t send me a picture you think I won’t find you hot because you have an afro and wear bone hoops in your nose?
    Aaaaaaaw baby, I like you for you.

    …..and your ass.

  6. barbedwire said

    Watch the casual ethnic stereotyping, Jerk. We don't take kindly to that sort of thing around here. I mean it.

    Unless you're Australian, in which case we'd be contractually obligated to sling insults at each other. In an affectionate Southern Hemisphere sort of way, of course.

  7. So there AREN’T people with afros and hoops in their noses in Africa?
    Where the fuck did National Geographic take those pictures then?!
    Those lying bastards.

    I though Mandela had everybody hugging down there, no?

    If you’d just email me your picture already……sheesh woman…give into my luv.
    (Wasn’t that a Cliff Richard song?)

  8. barbedwire said

    The only person I've seen around here with a hoop in their nose is an old, white, second-hand furniture salesman with matted dreadlocks.

    And easy on the swearing. My readers are sensitive. Also, never mention Cliff Richard again.

  9. But….you’re just a devil woman, with evil in your eyes…..

    Was the first picture I saw of you really you?
    I’ll quit bugging you about a picture if that was you.

  10. barbedwire said

    Yes. That was me.

  11. I lied, I want a newer picture.

    OK, remember a loooooong time ago when you said something like “Don’t flirt with a woman you’d never really ask out” or some shite like that?
    Why did you say that?

    Are you sure that was you? I thought the woman in that picture was smiling.

  12. (Jerk’s just doing that to annoy me. Either that, or he actually is a Grade-A psycho hell-bent on tracking me down. I.)


  13. barbedwire said

    I said nothing of the sort. And this is getting tiring.

  14. I decided to check out Fatmans blog, and I found it there.
    I didn’t know if I should be flattered or not “Grade-A”.

    You’re right.

  15. barbedwire said

    You were just hanging out over there? That’s a relief – for a moment I though you might be following me.

    Jerk – the day I have to start putting emoticons next to my comments is the day I put on a hairnet and volunteer to deflea all the animals at the zoo. Anyway, they haven’t invented symbols for ‘annoying’ or ‘mildly homicidal’ yet.

    Now, can we talk about something else, please?

  16. So you DON’T think I’m a “Grade-A” hunk o’ man?

    Sunovah…..I thought I was finally get me some South African Zilla luv.
    Damn you woman for getting my hopes up!

  17. barbedwire said

    Our city's Mayor is called Helen Zille (no relation). Want me to ask if she's single?

  18. Uh…….no.

    Hey why do you AssuME that every time I comment anything that’s not about how much I want to roll around naked with you, you think I’m writing something negative?
    I thought we were cool after that intial misunderstanding.

    Perhaps I need to creat a sarcasm emotican to go with your “mildy homicidal” one.
    How about this….

    Flathead and distrubingly odd smile?

    Ill keep working on it. Sarcasm is a tough emoticon to find.

  19. barbedwire said

    I’m a glass-half-empty kind of woman. I always look on the dark side of life. I put the negative in… ions… ironyons. Nevermind. Let me know when you come up with that ‘sarcasm’ emoticon, will you.

    We are cool. Just don’t arrive at my doorstep unexpectedly.

  20. Hey, it didn’t display my emoticons!

    Zil, after all this time, how the hell could it be unexpected?

  21. barbedwire said

    My website, like my home, is designed to repel smiling faces.

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