b sides

August 1, 2006

Anyone around here still own a tape deck? That’s too bad. Cassette (the band) are giving away a FREE* limited edition cassette (the audio storage cartridge) sampler – you know, just like their name – at Look & Listen outlets countrywide. Ask for them/it at the counter.

Cute. I bet this band is kicking themselves.

If Cassette’s sparkly, manic-esque pop rock harmonies don’t have you obsessively forwarding and rewinding through the chorus of Your Star until the tape snaps, then cover the tabs with sticky tape and resurrect a staple of 80s and 90s youth culture: The Mixtape. Who hasn’t said “Take me now”, “I hate you” or, “Irregardless is not a real word” with a painstakingly constructed, hormonally-fuelled playlist that thumps and reverberates with secret meaning? And a homemade cover?

Me neither**. But that’s okay – one of the robots over at tiny mixtape will generate a track list for you:

This mix, they assure us, is for anyone who has ever sucked in their breath and taken an involuntary step back from the changing room mirror:

A mix tape to get rid of the bad feelings bikini shopping always brings on:

Sample Track: 09. Madonna- “Nobody’s Perfect” (Music). (You thought I was going to pick “Fat Bottomed Girls”, didn’t you?)

I found this one for Fatman:

The ‘Songs to listen to while sitting in the car, waiting for your brother’s soccer practice to finish, all the while pretending you’re a secret agent on a stakeout’ Mix:

Sample Track: 10. Johnny Rivers – “Secret Agent Man” (Greatest Hits)

Finally, this one is for me, because I forgot to have breakfast:

The ‘Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that it was totally OK to eat people. If one were going to do this, it would probably be nice to have a mix tape of songs about food, and/or cannibalism. That would be ideal. If, you know, you were going to eat people. Not that I’m condoning it. Much.’ Mix:

Sample Track: 07. Dead Boys – “I Need Lunch” (Young, Loud, and Snotty)

Don’t forget to rewind.


* Actual value: R3.60!

** I’m lying, of course. If anyone wants one, drop me a line. (Terms and conditions might apply.)




6 Responses to “b sides”

  1. Fatman said

    I feel that the mix is lacking the Hall & Oats Private Eyes and Elvis Costello’s Watching the Detectives. Not strictly secret agent stuff but close.

    Also- there was a track by Poe (Trigger Happy Jack) on the compilation. For those in the know, she is the sister of one Mark Z. Danielewski, author of the absolutely brilliant House of Leaves (brief review here). Words do not do this book justice folks. An incredible debut.

  2. Yes, and no Peter Gunn theme, either – although the Johnny Rivers track almost makes up for it.

    Yeah, I have “House of…” – but I must confess that I was unaware of the connection to Poe. It does make perfect sense, somehow.

  3. kyknoord said

    How about “Songs for when you’ve driven through a puddle that turned out to be deeper than you expected and your scooter has drowned”?
    Suggested sample track: Garbage – “Push it”

  4. Hole – “Asking for It”
    Deep Puddle Dynamics – “Deep Puddle Theme Song”
    Chemical Brothers – “Lost In The K-Hole”
    Army of Freshmen – “Road less Traveled”, “No Engine”
    Ike and Tina Turner – “River Deep, Mountain High”
    Chemical Brothers – “Get Up On It Like This”
    Something by Handel
    Bonus Track:
    Garbage – “Only Happy When It Rains”

  5. Fatman said

    Well, Poe’s second album Haunted was heavily influenced by brother Mark’s ‘House of Leaves’ and he also referenced her in the book as well. But I confess I’ve never heard any of Poe’s stuff. I just know this shit cos I read a lot of articles (not just Wikipedia-just so you know)

  6. The National Enquirer, too?

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