go-go, girls

August 7, 2006

To celebrate Women’s Day this Wednesday, 9 August, Pestroy will be giving away women – sorry, girls – for free, until 10 pm on Tuesday night. Latecomers to the Women’s Day Wipe Out!!! at The Roxy in Melville will have to cough up R40 to catch a glimpse of skirt.

That’s what it says in the press release.*

If you don’t arrive in time to nab one of the good ones, try throwing some change at surfabilly space vixens, The Kosmonauts (above), laid-back Aussies Veeva Feeva, or grumpy ol’ Velve.

You can also catch Pestroy at one of these fine venues later in the month. Ladies not included.

Tue 22 August: Blues Room – Village Walk – JHB.
Fri 25 August: The Red Door – Pietermaritzburg.
Sat 26 August: Burn – Durban with Bhora.

~*~

* “Girls FREE before 10:00PM”

The Independent Armchair Theatre is incredibly proud to present a great gathering of songwriting talent. Over 1 and 2 August, twelve great South African musicians will take the stage at The Armchair to intimately introduce and perform their work.

Ja, and I clean forgot to tell you that Fokofpolisiekar and former monki punk Chris Chameleon were amongst those taking to the tiny Armchair stage last night. Which is precisely why you should head off to Obs and claim a spot on the sofa for tonight’s performance by Mystic Boer, Valiant Swart (above), the ‘evergreen’ Robin Auld, Andy Lund of The Roswell Kings, the endlessly entertaining Buckfever Underground and ex-Dolly Rocker, Greg Donnelly. And yeah, Waddy Jones – MC, art terrorist and hip-hop/electro nutcase. I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Tickets cost R60 and the doors open… in 10 minutes. Better make it snappy.

The Independent Armchair Theatre, Lower Main Road, Observatory, Cape Town.

rise up

July 28, 2006

A reminder to dress up/down and catch Pestroy, Misled and The Hogs at Jock-O-Rama 2 at Bohemians in Johannesburg tonight. If you ask nicely/your outfit is authentically ‘stella‘ enough, you might be able to persuade them to give you a ride on their ‘tour bus’ (no, that’s not a euphemism) to Durbs for the Uprisings Festival at The Wavehouse on Saturday.

Billed as ‘Durban’s Biggest Underground Festival‘, the line-up will see the likes of The Rudimentals, Undersound, L.A. Cobra, Fuzigish, Sibling Rivalry, Crossing Point and Half Price taking the stage, (in)capably supported by Corné and Twakkie from The Most Amazing Show. In the Style of Love, no doubt. It sounds like thoroughly decent day out – although I’m pretty sure that the only ‘uprising’ you need worry about is a grommet throwing up on your towel.

Considering the number of Cape Town bands on the bill, I’m sure you could find one drunk kind enough to let you bum a lift all the way down to the Mother City. In fact, ask them to drop you off at my house. Not really.

~*~

* It seem you can’t throw a tantrum these days without Corné and Twakkie elbowing their way onto the set list. So ubiquitous are the unintelligible twosome, that even my comment spam reads like it was cribbed from one of their scripts: “I’m love this great website. Many thanks guy.” Most Amazing? No. Incredibly annoying? Yes.

rudies can’t fail

July 16, 2006

It’s been a busy few months for SA’s snappiest ska band, The Rudimentals. Ross became a dad – and Rocco is either a great name for the tiny rudeboy, or a precursor to many, many years of therapy. On the other hand, they could have gone for ‘Punk’ or ‘Ska-face’, so I shouldn’t be too quick to criticise. The ‘Mentals recently signed to international Indie label Moonska – home to former 2-Tone stalwarts The Selecter, The Toasters and Jamaican Supergroup,The Skatalites – for distribution of their debut album throughout the UK, Europe and parts of Asia. They also found time to ‘Set it Proper‘ – that is, release their long-awaited second album, which, by all accounts, is a corker – and added some weight to an already hefty rhythym section by persuading skate and City Bow(e)l ska-punk pioneer, Errol Strachan, to join them on bass.

Errol, a.k.a. ‘Bong’, started out playing guitar and then bass for the Sons of Sellassie, but that’s not important. He’s really known around these parts as The Guy Who Replaced Me, Barb, in the legendary, albeit short-lived, punk band Brain Slaughter, thus stifling my shot at one day comparing strap burns with the likes of Sean Yseult and Melissa Auf der Maur. Instead, here I am. Hanging out with you guys.

Admittedly I might be basing my appointment on a remark made in passing, possibly in jest, by the vocalist – but still, I do take exception to being replaced before I even made it to my first rehearsal. Sure, the sangoma and six times skateboarding champ can actually play his bass without staring at his fingers and mouthing the chord sequence (if only my parents had sent me to this Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp for Girls instead of a convent in Port Elizabeth), but I do look a darn sight cuter on stage.

If you don’t believe me, catch Bong and the rest of the Mother City’s rudest at the Zula Sound Bar, 194 Long Street on 21 July. I’ll be the attractive one at the bar, mouthing along to those chord sequences.

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come as you are

July 3, 2006

Lending credence to the theory that pigs occasionally do fly, Cape Ska-punk legends, The Hogs, will be blowing their own trumpets alongside hardened Jozie punks, Pestroy and Misled, as they attempt to compensate for their less than athletic physiques/utter inability to score a cheerleader, by chugging lots of beer at the wildly anticipated Jock-O-Rama 2 in Richmond, Johannesburg.

Trot over to Bohemians on 28 July – a little porcine revelry will do you good. And dressing as a Jock* or Stella** will get you R10 off the R40 cover price, plus a free shooter. (The alcoholic kind. Jo’burg’s not that tough).

~*~

Urban Dictionary calls it like it sees it:

* Jock (jk), noun:

The kid in high school who’s parents paid everything for. Generally having poor grades, driving a nice car as if he earned it, hitting on all the slutty girls and getting attention because of his sell-out style and flashy white teeth.

** Stella (stl), noun:

a disco girl, usually caught wearing short skirts, heavy make-up and chewing gum. occasionally referred to as part of the canine species. found in groups of three or more at high schools and shops.

For shame. Where is the love?

Don and Rich…! over at Jo’blog deliver a perfervid report on Lagwagon’s performance up in Gauteng recently. And Don’s nuts. They swear quite a bit, too. (Don and Rich…!, that is. The nuts are relatively well behaved.)

our men in hangover

June 2, 2006

"It started out as a joke, it turned into a subculture explosion. Bursting through the underground like an inebriated suicide bomber, The four hooligans locked in the HALFPRICE menagerie of a rock and roll band are coming out swinging, ready to flatten the planet!"

Yes, the classy little drunks are back. Catch Homo Pete and the boys at their catchily titled 'Unbanned and Rebooked a.k.a. Damn the Man, Screw the Exams' show at Mercury Live in Cape Town tonight. LP Show and Killerearfukaz will be there to hold the Halvies' hair back while they throw up on their shoes.

If underage drinking turns you on, you won't want to miss the 'Student Night' gig at Lepht, 4 Buiten Street, on Wednesday 7 June, followed by the 'Fat Titties Party!!' held, somewhat appropriately, at the Wynberg Sports Club on Thursday 15 June.

And the fun doesn't end there. Halfprice will blow through Jozie, Pretoria and Durbs in July on their Skidmarks and Roses tour, before deportation departing for their second European tour in September.

What's the big deal? I've toured Europe.

Pretoria: the very epicentre of big hair, animal prints and extravagant expanses of sock beneath bri-nylon hemlines.

Small wonder then, that the lovely Jen and her brothel-creepered crew have opted to open the very first Silent Screams Subcultural Store in the land of the groot snor. The small but fiercely tattooed distribution outfit, purveyors of “psychobilly, punk, rock ‘n’ roll, skate and tattoo clothing & accessories“, will be serenaded from the Thrashers skatepark by grateful punks Impropriety, and sharply dressed rock ‘n’ rollers, The Slashdogs and The Hellphones.

Don’t miss the exhibition by lensman Liam Lynch either – anyone who can spend a weekend trailing the likes of fokofpolisiekar and maintain a steady shutter finger deserves your respect. Also, his pics are fantastic.

Store opening: 19h30, 241 Serene Street, Garsfontein, Pretoria. Tonight, 2 June.
The Gig: 20h30 at Thrashers Skate Park. R30 gets you in. A genuine ID gets you beer.

work for idle hands

May 26, 2006

hell-o, operator

May 23, 2006

Those devilish call-centre employees, The Hellphones, want you to dial 'O' for "oh no!"…

Ladies and Gentlemen, give up your first-born…

Actually, I can't sustain this – The Hellphones want you to come and see them play The 88 Club in Norwood tomorrow night at around 8 pm.

Tell them Samael sent you.

raining blood

May 15, 2006

LiveDaily reports that Slayer have delayed the start of their "unholy Alliance" tour due to Tom Araya's gallbladder surgery.

It still isn't clear whether Tom is the one undergoing surgery, or if he's just preparing to rip the organ from a volunteer as a pre-tour sacrifice to ensure good ticket sales. This is Slayer we're talking about – it could so go either way.

for a good time…

May 13, 2006

Cassette, the Jo'burg band I’d never heard of until they signed to Sony-BMG recently, will be going tape to toe with The Dirty Skirts, the band that mysteriously acquired my mobile number and spams me on a regular basis – tonight at the Armchair Theatre in Observatory. R30 gets you in, another 10 gets you ‘special attention’ out back from the barman who looks like an Arcade Fire fan. Or so I might have heard.

I’ve been criticised a little for assuming, erroneously, that all 3 of my readers know what the local bands I mention sound like. It's not that – I'm just really lazy. Anyway, I'll see what I can do: The Skirts* are a lot like that other band with a great name that also failed to sound anything like I thought they should – The Killers. Cassette… well, I'd love to give you the skinny, but the download section on their website only houses a couple of 'test vids' and a 'temp' file at this point, so I can't. Unless those are the tracks, in which case they're crap.

There, did that help at all?

And Dirty Skirts: as soon as I find out who wrote my number on the bathroom wall at Roxy’s, there’ll be hell to pay.

~*~

* Synth-rock.

speak and pestroy

May 11, 2006

If you live in the Jozie area, tune into UJFM 95.4 FM – "Jo'burg's newest youth community radio station" tomorrow and catch rap-metal machines Pestroy, live, if not fully functional, on the Morning Glory show at around 11 am. If that doesn't perk you up and get you ready to face the day, you must be deaf. Or me. Ten rond says the first question put to them is "why can't you spell?"

If you're one of those annoying people who plans in advance / has actually figured out a use for Google Calendar, then make a note to catch Pestroy again at Carfax, Newtown on Saturday 27 May. Our philanthropically-inclined band will be taking the rap at the Head Rush Charity Show, alongside Cassette, Wickhead, 16 Stitch, Wanton and gnarled veterans of the pop-rock circuit, Sugardrive.

punk in drublic

May 10, 2006

When I first started hanging out at punk gigs, I kept encountering the same small huddle of drunks who'd interrupt the bands with feeble cries of "The Cause", before collapsing against each other in a faint spray of beer and sweat. At least, that's what I thought they were saying.

It was only a couple of years and a VH1 special later that the real reason for their enthusiasm became clear: The Corrs. Of course. They’d been shouting for The Corrs.

Which obviously has nothing to do with Kid of Doom, Fuzigish and Pestroy’s fine, fine efforts to raise funds for almost 300 children and adults with profound mental handicaps – but I thought I’d mention it anyway. So come on – support the Little Eden Benefit gig at Thrashers Skate Park in Pretoria this Saturday. The kids really need you.

If that doesn’t tug at your purse strings, I hear The Corrs sisters are raising money to buy a better looking brother – now there's a cause worth supporting.